Tuesday, November 18, 2008


Today marks the 1st Birthday for my little boy. This time last year Id just seen his face for the first time. After almost 3 days of labor I was told I had to have a C-Section. Id been having serious contractions and they were now about 2-3 minutes apart. I wasnt progressing and his heartrate started dropping again. The inserts werent working and they wanted to play it safe. They prepped me for an epidural and my mom prayed and held my hands while they put the long needle in my back. Soon after from my chest down I was numb. I said bye to my brother and he hugged me with a few words of support "Its gonna be okay...love you sidder". That was the moment when the idea of being a soldier and staying strong went out the window. I started crying. I was scared. Terrified. My mom hugged me and said she was wondering when I was going to break...well I finally did. One of my best friends Christy, and my dad were waiting for me. A few messages were sent to others who mightve wanted to be there but I realized I was gonna have to do this with my mom and that was fine. The rolled me in the room, put the sheet up, tied my arms down, and put the cap on my head. My mom and the nurse were talking to me and my upper body was shaking. I could barely speak I was so scared. Then at 9:31AM November 18, 2007, I heard my Dr. say "Grandma, you wanna watch?" My mom stood up and all I heard her say was "Oh my God, Oh my God, look at my Grandson!" and she started crying. I was saying I wanna see over and over again until I heard his cry. It was so faint, so small, so precious. At that moment I knew I was gonna be okay. They put him on my chest and let me kiss him. It was by far the best moment of my life. I will never forget that moment. After that they took him away to wash him up and finish my surgery. I didnt see him again for about 3 hours. When I got back to my room, everytime the door opened I thought it was gonna be one of two people. My baby or someone else. I got one in the deal and thats the one that matters. When they brought him in the room, nothing else mattered. His precious and innocent little face. So beautiful, so soft, such a blessing. I couldnt ask for anything else. The moment I was finally able to hold him for the 1st time is when I finally realized I was gonna be a great mom. I had no idea before that moment but once I held him the instincts kicked in. This was the person that was just inside me. I kept him safe for 9 months and now Im vowing to keep him safe the rest of my life. That whole day I held him unless the Dr needed to do a check, or one of my friends and family members wanted to hold him. Even when he slept he was on me. I didnt want to let him go. When we decided to turn on the TV that afternoon, we saw a game on. It was in Orlando. They won...I guess we both came out on top that day!


Victoria said...

ahem.... i like those last three sentences there...lol
but that is a precious story to read. I love seeing parents,especially during this time period, actually care and be passionate about their own offspring....wonderful!
Happy Birthday Bray!!!!!!
xoxo Victoria!!!

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

he is adorable and happy bday to him - my kids mean the world to me u can see them here I wanna lay on you daddy/Pop’s I’m running the shop today

guess we bothy proud single parents