Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Great Weekend...

Well, as you see in the Title of this post I had a GREAT Weekend. We (FAMU) won the Classic...actually we kicked their A's lolol. It was fun! The band was awesome as usual and the food vendors were as good as they always are. I went out Saturday night and had a ball. Sunday was Brays Birthday Party at Monkey Joes and it was soooo much fun! All the kids had a good time and you can never go wrong with giving them Pizza so that always works. After all it was about the kids and mainly Braylon! Everyone came together for this special day and it felt great! No drama, no tears, just love, peace and happiness. The way it should always be no matter what!

With tomorrow being Thanksgiving, I realize I have a lot to be thankful for. Thanks for my healthy and handsome little boy, my family, my friends, life, success, getting thru, strength, and happiness. I know Ive had some hard times this year and granted a few things need to be talked about personally and not blasted on my blog lolol but God has my life in His hands and Im mostly thankful for that. Ive found out a lot this past month and I think its helped me realize why a lot of things happened. Personal shout out to Officer ENR! I appreciate the IP trace. You changed my outlook on everything and Ive been able to forgive because they cannot see. Lastly, Id like to say that someone told me that its hard to accept things when theyre the way they are. My advice to that is.."You only have to accept the things you CANNOT change, not the things you CAN!". Remember the Serenity Prayer:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.

With that, I close and say God Bless you all and thanks for all your encouragement in your comments and mostly through your emails. Im off to Hawaii for a week and 2 days to stay in my parents Timeshare. We're going to have a great time! Its my first time going 2 Hawaii even tho Ive been everywhere else. I cant wait! Im outtie! Holler!!!!!!!

Sunday, November 23, 2008


Has any1 besides me ever wondered why you always speak your mind and your heart after youve had a few drinks? Like 2nite...Its Classic Weekend...Saturday night...I had a ball...but towards the end of the night I started thinking....Thinking about ish thats happened in the past month and a half and I started hurting. It sucked. I was having so much fun. But like always, as things wind down you start thinking about life... I actually ended up going to someone and asking a question about something that happened 2 weeks ago. Why? Im not supposed to care... Why do we hold on to things that we KNOW arent meant to be... Things that we know we deserve better than... things that are staring us right in the face? I hate it. I let go... so i Thought. I want to let go...dont I? I think when ure tipsy you face reality to the point theres no barrier and you just dont care. You speak ur mind and u feel ur heart. Ure kinda forced to... and theres no way around it. I think thats a way of purging... a way of getting out the feelings uve locked in for so long and now u have to let them go. Tonight I realized that I was holding hurt... I gotta let that go. I gotta realize Im not gonna get the answer why or what if...I just gotta let go...thats ok... finally. I know its not gonna happen overnight but I have to eventually let the past be the past so I can open my eyes to the future. On another note. I did have fun. I finally met my blog rival DO and he was actually really cool. I think my teeth are straighter but thats another argument. He was really sweet and I have to say that if things were diff...nevermind lolol. Im goin to sleep before I start typing too much. Im still a lil tipsy...

Thursday, November 20, 2008

FAMU VS BCU Classic Weekend

Whats up yall?! As most of you already know I am a Rattler and this weekend marks CLASSIC WEEKEND! The largest HBCU Classic in the World. YES ITS PROVEN so dont think Im just giving my opinion. This classic STILL hold the record for the Citrus Bowl here in Orlando with over 80,000 fans in the stands! Ive been sick the past few days but its hasnt kept me from taking Bray to the Character Breakfast and Seaworld for his 1st Birthday. Hes 1! OMG time flies and hes such a blessing! Just look at the picture from the day he was born till now. Hes grown so much! I love it but I miss it 2! Its going a little too fast! Well like I said this cold or whatever I have... It wont keep me from the game and goin out, nor will it keep me from Brays party on Sunday. If youre not in Orlando this weekend I feel sorry for you lolol just kidding but you will miss a great weekend! Goooo FAMU!!! As much as that school put me thru I realize it was all to teach me to get thru hard times and make me stronger.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008


Today marks the 1st Birthday for my little boy. This time last year Id just seen his face for the first time. After almost 3 days of labor I was told I had to have a C-Section. Id been having serious contractions and they were now about 2-3 minutes apart. I wasnt progressing and his heartrate started dropping again. The inserts werent working and they wanted to play it safe. They prepped me for an epidural and my mom prayed and held my hands while they put the long needle in my back. Soon after from my chest down I was numb. I said bye to my brother and he hugged me with a few words of support "Its gonna be you sidder". That was the moment when the idea of being a soldier and staying strong went out the window. I started crying. I was scared. Terrified. My mom hugged me and said she was wondering when I was going to break...well I finally did. One of my best friends Christy, and my dad were waiting for me. A few messages were sent to others who mightve wanted to be there but I realized I was gonna have to do this with my mom and that was fine. The rolled me in the room, put the sheet up, tied my arms down, and put the cap on my head. My mom and the nurse were talking to me and my upper body was shaking. I could barely speak I was so scared. Then at 9:31AM November 18, 2007, I heard my Dr. say "Grandma, you wanna watch?" My mom stood up and all I heard her say was "Oh my God, Oh my God, look at my Grandson!" and she started crying. I was saying I wanna see over and over again until I heard his cry. It was so faint, so small, so precious. At that moment I knew I was gonna be okay. They put him on my chest and let me kiss him. It was by far the best moment of my life. I will never forget that moment. After that they took him away to wash him up and finish my surgery. I didnt see him again for about 3 hours. When I got back to my room, everytime the door opened I thought it was gonna be one of two people. My baby or someone else. I got one in the deal and thats the one that matters. When they brought him in the room, nothing else mattered. His precious and innocent little face. So beautiful, so soft, such a blessing. I couldnt ask for anything else. The moment I was finally able to hold him for the 1st time is when I finally realized I was gonna be a great mom. I had no idea before that moment but once I held him the instincts kicked in. This was the person that was just inside me. I kept him safe for 9 months and now Im vowing to keep him safe the rest of my life. That whole day I held him unless the Dr needed to do a check, or one of my friends and family members wanted to hold him. Even when he slept he was on me. I didnt want to let him go. When we decided to turn on the TV that afternoon, we saw a game on. It was in Orlando. They won...I guess we both came out on top that day!

Monday, November 17, 2008

1 day before...

Well, this time last year I was probably just waking up from an 8 hour nap. Yes NAP! Earlier in the day my painful contractions had gotten to be unbearable so instead of getting an epidural, I decided to take Stadol. Funny story... apparently when they were shootin me up with Stadol they had to use a chaser to make it go faster and it went a lot faster than planned. I dont remember what happened but I was told I went crazy hyper for 20 seconds then literally just fell over sleep. My mom told me that I started laughing and dancing and just acting realllllly happy. Then all of a sudden I just laid out on my pillow. I wish theyd recorded it because that wouldve been good for memories but nope no video :o(. Anyways, as of now Ive gone thru 2 Prostagladins inserts with no progress. Theyre supposed to last 12 hours so Im going to get one more im told. So Ive been in labor for 2 days. Nothing much happened today except I caused a few people to miss the game. Go FAMU! Hahahahaha. Tomorrow...different story...lets just say, it all came down at once...till 2morrow...

Sunday, November 16, 2008

2 days...

A year ago today at this time I was laying in a Hospital bed with all the wires and tubes sticking in me. I was being pampered at Winnie Palmer Hospital, the BEST Hospital for Women and Children. When I tell you I felt like I was at a resort that is NO LIE. The food was great and it was purely room service. Each room is set up literally like a hotel room with a bed for the mother giving birth and another for 1 family member. My person was my mother. My ROCK! I got a lot of visitors that day from my family and my friends who were in town for the Classic or who just lived in Orlando anyway. That was no 1 but God doing that because He knew I needed as much support as I could get and why not let it be when everyone is in town. Now, going back a few hours....

I was admitted into the Hospital Friday November 16, at 3:33AM. I thought that was weird because 3 is my favorite number. Id been in a LOT of pain the day before and I tried hard to sleep it off. I ended up calling my family around midnite to tell them I needed some1 to come and stay with me because I was in so much pain and might have to go in. My contractions had started again and this time were extremely painful. My brother came and watched TV with me upstairs until I fell asleep. I woke up gasping from a strong contraction and tried to yell for my brother. He was downstairs. I ended up having to throw the remote control at my door and he rushed in. I said out of breath and in tears "we gotta go, we gotta go, I cant take this". He tried to calm me down and asked me where my bag was (id been to triage so many times he knew the routine lol). I told him it was downstairs and he put it in the car before coming to get me. He walked me down the stairs and into the car. On the way to the hospital he called my parents and told them we were going in. They said ok let them know if I get admitted. We got to the hospital around 3AM. They took me in to monitor me about 5 minutes later. I was being monitored for about 20 minutes then they sent me back outside. The lady called me into the side room to sign paperwork. Thats when I knew but I needed to hear it. I asked whats this for. She told me "We're going to admit you because your contractions are close and they babys heartrate is dropping dangerously low. I immediately got scared and asked so what does that mean? When am I going home? She replied "Not until you have a baby". I turned around and looked at my brother who was smiling and I couldnt figure out how to feel. I was scared yes, but I was also anxious because I was going to finally see the human being whose been moving inside of me for all these months and kicking and punching me from the inside. Despite the pain, I felt comfortable and safe having him there because I had NO IDEA how to be a mother but I was ready to meet him all the same.

Once I got to my room I emailed everyone on my mailing list. My mom did the same thing when she got to work that morning to cancel all her appointments. I received a few phone calls and several visits. They were filling me up with water because I was again dehydrated and my face and whole body instantly started swelling up. As shallow as it may sound, I was upset because id only gained 23lbs my whole pregnancy and now here they are filling me up with 10lbs of water. I looked fat all in a matter of hours! Well, that day I just sat there and watched TV, ordered room service 3 times...the personal pan peperoni pizza, and the breakfast omelette were my favorites even tho they had steak and all that other ish too lol. They started giving me a medication insert called a Prostaglandin in order to help me progress and dilate because although my contractions were strong enough, he had no where to go if I wouldnt open up. With painful checks every 12 hours, and contractions every 5 minutes I still didnt want an epidural. I wanted to hold out as long as possible. I guess I figured...Id been in pain for this long, I can wait a little while longer....

That was 2 days before.....

Saturday, November 15, 2008


Okay...sooo before I get to my post later 2nite about the countdown I felt the need to blog about this again. 1st, I got the full address of the main person whose been leaving comments on all these random comment/message boards and it kinda shocked me. I feel like I already knew but its always worse when you see it on paper. Theyve been coming to my page like everyday along with a few other but this 1 in particular was a little suspect to me. I mentioned a little story about this person a few blogs ago so I wont elaborate on that. What I will say, however, is that it takes a very cold hearted, envious, selfish, and hungry person to do what they did. Its extremely obvious as to why certain people attempt to ruin the lives of others in order to only help themselves. It takes a very manipulative person to be able to say and do so much via internet then pretend as if they have no idea what happened or play savior. When someone goes as far as 2 separate a person from their child because of attention or fear of losing them it becomes a more serious matter. The way its done however is never really face to face, its behind the back. Im saying this because Ive been there before. I remember being in a relationship in college when my ex thought I was cheating on him with a gay guy. He proceeded to turn my roommates (which Id known since HS) against me with lying, fake emails, plotting, stealing, and even vandalizing one of their cars. All the blame was put on me and for over a year after it happened they believed it. He was gorgeous, soft spoken, silly, in school, our age, a model, and everyone LOVED him. He was one of those you'd least expect to do anything crazy but it "wasnt in his character". Well, Ive never really had to prove myself until that moment. I was forced to move out of my apt because my roommates had turned into evil people all due to hearsay. They were breaking my things, leaving threats on my door, prank calling my phone, gettin in my face like they wanted to fight, etc. It was probably one of the most awful experiences Ive ever been thru. I stayed with another friend for the last 2 wks before I graduated and when I went to get my stuff from my apt, theyd broken in my room claiming I had stuff of theirs. This is after I let one of them borrow my clothes because she didnt have many, another I gave my extra TV that was for the living room because she didnt have one in her room, and the same 1 with no clothes, I gave my extra comforter set because she didnt have that either. I cooked for these people and I was there for them no matter what. BUT 1 person, a jealous boyfriend that didnt have the signs, turned all that around. For a year I dealt with losing 3 friends and couldnt believe it...A YEAR! Then one day I got a message from LF saying he was sorry. Saying he missed me. Saying he didnt know my friend was gay and after he said everything it was too late to take it back so he let it continue. That hurt. I couldve sent that message to my former roommates/friends but I didnt. I felt that if our friendship and everything I did for them wasnt strong enough to get past a lying boyfriend then they werent worth it. I do see 2 of them on occassion and we speak like nothing ever happened. It was brought up once with 1 of them and they said after speaking with their mother they realized it probably wasnt true. However, they never came to me. I asked why she never said anything and her excuse was "I felt bad...". Well, so did I. We were too close to let that happen. Now we're just associates. My point in this blog is that no one should be able to come between those who mean the most to you. Theres a reason certain people are in your life. The devil comes in all disguises and its always hard to figure him out. That ex boyfriend? No he didnt go to jail or do something crazy to go to a psych ward...I know thats what yall thought I was gonna say. Hes still a little different but still puts on that charm and innocence. Maybe thats why I get so upset. Because Ive been there before and I see it happening to someone else. However, its not just someone else...this time it involves families, a child, friends, etc. All for what. Its not worth it. Its just gonna get worse. Its sad but it is. To the person Im talkin about. This message was for you. Im not trying to be TOO mean sweetheart but I do know your motives. Youre not in love, youre hungry. Youre desperate. So youre taking things too far. Understand that whats meant to be will be. All the threats, anonymous messages, and stalking is uncalled for. I dont know you, I know of you. You dont know me, you know of me. I lost respect for you long time ago with one statement I was told about you. Thats not going 2 change. We dont care for each what. That gives you NO right to come between the 2 of them. Thats sick! Cold hearted and just plain wrong. The fact that youve accomplished (isnt that your word) the tearing apart of several people to draw you in closer is only the Devils doing. One day God is going to take control. I think right now Hes hoping you fix it yourself. All I asked for was an apology and for you 2 stop. You havent. I dont know how youre doing it but you must be really good. Saying and doing ALL THE RIGHT THINGS face to face then going back to say and do all the wrong things by yourself or with ur friends. What kind of person are you? Youre sick! Kinda crazy and deranged to. Smiling and pretending only gets so far. It may be a month, it may be may be at the deciding moment that payback is given. I can do a lot but imma leave it to God cuz as much as I would love to kick your ass, Imma let God handle it. I just hope the other party wakes up before its 2 late.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Time to reflect... 4 days before...

As I sit here, Im reminiscing about the last few days of my pregnancy a year ago. Its 4 days before his birthday and I remember what I was doing to the T. I was in pain! I was also crying. I was extremely emotional and stressed. A little over a month before, Id been to the Dr and I remember falling in front of the Dr office because I was running from a bumblebee. My brother cursed me OUT and said I was being ridiculous because it was "just a bee"...whatever...I dont like bugs. Anyways, when my dr felt my belly I was told that his heart wasnt beating fast enough anymore and I needed to go to triage. From that day forward I lived in fear. I started praying more than I had in the past. I was asking for forgiveness for everything I might have done wrong and didnt realize it. I cried because I realized Id taken my whole pregnancy as a bad thing instead of a blessing. I was so angry that I stopped realizing how great it was to feel my baby move inside my belly. I stopped letting other people feel it too. I was ashamed. I was hurt. I was heartbroken. I stopped caring. Then I had another scare. I started having contractions. I went back to the dr and I was sent to triage again. They put me on full bedrest. That Sunday I got saved and Ive never cried so much in my life. I fell limp but when it was over, I felt free.

4 days and counting down.....
The weekend my baby was born was Classic Weekend. I remember sitting down that Thursday morning and having a sudden pain in my back. I called my parents and my brother and told them I needed company. My brother came and checked on me and I thought I was fine. The rest of the day I sat on the big rubber ball and prayed that everything was fine. I ate 4 pickled hot sausages and some cake batter (its true what they say...your cravings are soooo random). I guess I wont be making it to the Classic Festivities this year I told myself...Ill just chill on the sofa or in the bed...Im supposed to be on bedrest anyways right??? .That was 4 days before....

Thursday, November 13, 2008


Id like to give a shout out to L,B,and B outta Chi-Tooooooooooowwwnnnnn! You seem to be turning into a loyal fan of my page by checking in EVERYDAY! I hope you enjoy it! Thankssssss! Smooches! Im outtie! Hollerrrrr!

I got to thinking....

As I sit here tonight.. Im thinking about all the things going on in my life right now and just how blessed I really am. I tend to lose sight on these things because there are ppl who constantly bring drama into my life. Problem is, I let them do it.

1st..These IP traces, people in general, and when things dont go my way I cant change. I can press charges and bring MORE drama or I can just show the proof in hopes that they will stop. If not, I guess Im just that much of a threat so I should take it as a compliment and find it flattering. I originally traced one in particular because I was getting stupid messages on myspace linking me to a page. After I got smart I realized I could trace the page there 2 and I ended up realizing the IP address matched a frequent visitor on my blog. I mainly just wanted to know where the location was. When I found out the City I got a little more curious and hired someone to trace it a little farther. Make a long story short, I ended up finding out who it was and it was a lot easier than I thought it would be. Same person has been posting EVERYWHERE! Nasty stuff abt me, my child, and I guess to cover their tracks the other party 2. Kinda psycho/crazy someone can pretend to be someone else so well. Reminds me of the movies Misery and Fatal Attraction. But I dont think theyre that bad...just young and immature...well hopefully hahaha. Now I just laugh because I think its funny. This person has been trying to turn ppl against each other and then play the shoulder to cry on. It worked so I cant say they didnt succeed but at least I know why certain things happened and that those of us who kinda knew werent goin crazy.

2nd...People in general. I hate stupid humans. The ones who dont know how to drive and the ones who wear socks with flip flops. Okay maybe hate is a strong word but come on...who drives 40 in the fast lane...who pulls out extremely fast because they dont want to wait for some1 whose clearly going above 50 to pass... then they slow down...better yet who blows at someone for something THEY DID??? Thats stupid! Also, I dont understand why its so hard to talk and drive at the same time but maybe thats just me. If you cant do it and at least go the speed limit without coming in MY LANE, dont do it! Texting is another story...thats just dumb! I mean, I understand when youre at a red light or something but if youre on I4 trynna tell me what happened to to you 2day, you might as well tell me youre trynna commit suicide too! Now the flip flop thing...isnt that just a little uncomfortable? Like, your socks dont have a space in between them for the flip flop to fit between so why the heck are you wearing SOCKS! Put on some dang sneakers! Not to mention its just ugly. Thats worse than socks with sandals. Oh and foreal...the baggy pants look is out! If you have to pull them up every 2 steps thats a problem. Did yall not see that documentary on Jail about how they find that attractive and thats where it started...on deathrow/prison? So gay! Dudes walkin around thinkin they look all thugged out and manly when its really feminine and sexy! Hahahaha! Wow! Imma start questioning all of gay gay. I love gay guys, best friends ever, so Imma hit all yall up! I brought this up cuz I saw a dude at Target today with dreads, gold teeth, a wife beater and pants that looked like he wrapped a big ass comforter around his legs. He of course tried to holla and Braylon looked at him and tried to pull his hair. He smelled like straight weed 2...ewww! Anyways, back to the story, I asked him why his pants were so big and he said "aaaaw u kno baby"...i said "nooo i dont" Then I started laughing and said "Are you wearin spongebob drawls...not drawers..I said drawls?" He asked me if that was a problem...I said nah but u out here trynna be all bad ass wearing a nickelodeon character. He coulda shot me but he didnt. He did leave tho after sayin "man u trippin"...I wanted to say nahhh ure gay! Ill have some more stupid human stories later...I might make this a weekly thing hahaha. Moving on...

3rd...just when I thought all dudes suck...I meet someone. I not gonna elaborate too much rt now but just know hes the real deal. He can deal with me so thats the main thing lolol. He loves my clumsy, real, blunt, emotional, goofy, and country self. I feel like ive known him before...its crazy. We just mesh...Im extremely picky so for me to actually like someone enuf 2 talk abt them is real!I may have found our King! But, God only knows the purpose. Maybe hes here for a month, a year, or forever...but all I know is everyday, when we're together it grows and Im enjoying every moment of feeling special to someone...Maybe hes meant to teach me, maybe Im meant to learn...Maybe it wont last but just help me understand what I deserve. I dont know but Im ready for whatever Gods throwing at me...

Saturday, November 8, 2008



Lake Mary, Florida, United States
Spiderhost (


To the person who left this dumb comment below...why are you on my page? lolol But to answer your question...because of ppl like you but thanks...I know who you are too! Question...why are you posting from another Iphone...under AT&T???


I went out tonight and had a good times with my girls/guys. Upon my arrival home I was greeted by an email. It was sent earlier today but I wasnt able to check it until now.

P.S. Even tho you delete your anonymous myspace pages and the messages disappear after I read them (cuz you wait until I read them to delete the page so if I try to read it again it comes up as this persons page has been deleted instead of the message...can we say stalker)...I can copy and paste the messages just to keep in my archive and still get your IP address from the deleted site...its not the same address for every deleted page dumbass. So I have both your messages from the past month and OMG what a coincidence its the SAME IP address. lmao! Do you really think things are anonymous anymore for real??? Come on, with kids sending bomb threats to schools, etc, they cant keep your information secret anymore...duuuuh! Do your research! You will NEVER find my IP address on any comment boards because I DONT POST ON THEM! You however...lets just keep going....

Just so everyone knows...I have an IP tracer on my blog. That means ANYONE who visits my blog, it shows your city, your IP address, how many times youve come to my page along with the dates and times as well as how long you stayed, and the type of server you use (IE Road Runner, Bellsouth, etc). I really didnt think people were ignorant enough to send me messages from the same computer theyve talked ish about me on. But low and behold they are. Im really only talking about one person and she knows who she is. Im not going to put your business out there but this is your IP address and city...
Orange City, Florida, United States
Road Runner (
Now, I only know of one person who lives in or knows of someone who lives in Orange City. I also know the address so I KNOW WHO YOU ARE SWEETHEART. For future reference...dont use the same computer on Talk Sports, TOPIX, Baller Alert, your supposed anonymous myspace page, and your current myspace page. I know youre the one who sent the anonymous message because its the same dang IP address as your REAL PAGE! I dont know what youre insecure about but you really need to fix it. Youve come to my blog almost EVERYDAY! One time you even stayed over an hour...Ummm I dont really know what else to say but if you continue writing on these blogs, comment boards, sending me anonymous messages, (probably wrote on my car), etc Imma have to take legal action and then youre going to make both of you look bad especially because the other party is oblivious to your antics...Think about what youre doing. Youve gone to far. You got to theres proof its you! Your insecurities are getting the best of you to the point youre lying about everything. Its really sad and I dont know what it is that makes people believe you but its getting a little ridiculous dont you think? Now, I bet youre going to go to another computer...but make sure its not in Orange City or anywhere near...It always traceable...
Now, I dont want anyone to think that I just decided to trace IP addresses. I started because certain things that were being said were things that only someone close to me or the boy would know.
But anyways, back to the dummy... Youre a pathological liar and Im done with you silly girl...youre hilarious to may need to get mentally tested because almost everyone knows youre lying about everything! Thats why youre always putting things on blast...what are you trying to prove sweetheart? Are you scared? Insecure? Worried? At this point you should be because you have had the Gal to ruin and come between 2 ppl...and Im not talking about me! You had that much power and manipulation to do that so I commend you but youve gotten yourself in hot water now. Get your life together and stop worrying about mine. Im/we're not interested in THAT anymore so dont worry about us worry about the next 1. I know youre only doing what youre doing because youre trying to get me upset or the other party upset with me and then you play comforter like you did nothing hahahaha. Duuuuh! But, do you girl, I aint mad atcha! lolol

Im not slow! I have a degree...too bad its not in Pharmaceutical Sales hahahahahahahaha. OMG thats the joke of the year! I know what the next step is going to be and I cant wait to blog about it...Dig yourself deeper and deeper chick...

Thursday, November 6, 2008


Soooooo I dont know what happened for sure but apparently someone tried to break into my townhouse today. I wasnt there thank God I was actually at the Studio but I was called by my security people who told me my alarm went off. My system is connected to my cell phone cuz I dont have a house phone and I think its safer that way anyways cuz otherwise they can just cut the phone cord. Anyways, when they called I of course just said oh its fine thinking maybe the wind hit the door too hard or brays window wasnt shut all the way. Well when I got home I didnt check the front door because I always come in through the garage. I went to take the trash out right now and theres a small chip in my door where the lock is...kinda like someone was trying to force it open. Soooo right now Im sitting in my bed waiting for the cops to come. What sucks is when someone wrote on my car I learned that the security cameras at my complex dont really work. They told me they were a ploy to stop crime....WOW! Guess thats not working. Im a little nervous so my brother and my dad are going to stay with Christy and I tonight. Im kinda laming it out I know but I am really scared so dont get it twisted. I just have to stay calm ya know...thats why Im blogging. I think by my blogs if anything ever happens to me, God forbid, at least I wrote about it and it may somehow help...I dont know, maybe I watch too many movies or too many of those reality cop/detective shows. Its been really weird because ive started receiving more of my childs fathers fan mail and I recently received a note at my front door written in crayon that said "(his name) is my hero, why didnt you return my message". Of course that sounds like a little child but what message didnt I return??? I dont know. Its just crazy. Im trying to think of more things to write so I dont get myself to paranoid. Blah blah blah blah blah.....i dont know what to write I dont know what to write....,hmmmmmmm......blah blaasdkflskdfakldsksfnkkkd Ahhhhh Im hella scared, wheres my dad and brother. Christys at the game still. OMGOMGOMG.....okay calm down,....Im looking at braylon in the camera. Ive checked on him like 20 times in the past 10 minutes. Thats why I keep taking breaks from writing. I keep looking out all the windows thinking someones watching me and waiting for the lights to go out. Okay too many movies Royce...chill out....deep breaths deep breaths.....okay imma go cuz this writing isnt working. bye please pray for us. Im sure its nothing right? Maybe a stick hit the door. Maybe that chip is old and I never recognized it till now and in fact it was the wind right? okay bue. I called the security ppl back by the way, theyre the 1s that sent the cops. Okay for real im rambling and starting to shake with nerves. okay bue for real.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008


Okay, so its about 10:43PM and Brays been sleep about an hour and a half (Thank God for Daylight Savings Time cuz he normally goes around 10-1030). Ive a had an extremely stressful but blessed week. I couldnt ask for any week better than this one. Let me tell you why. I HAVE A CAREER! Im getting paid for doing what I love to do and giving back to my community while doing so. I started out my dance studio with 17 kids and no real marketing. Thats great especially with how the economy is! But in the past 3 days Ive gotten 10 more kids to sign up and several more coming in this week to do the same! Ive always been told I have a light shining bright over me and now I can see it! I dont know what it is but I have a way with kids and getting them to understand that they can do and be anything! Im a hard teacher and some say Im mean at times but after a few weeks Im getting hugs at the end of class and many thank yous from parents! Its a gift I have and I dont mind sharing it! I have my OWN company, Im still shocked when I say it but its amazing to me. Im a business woman and Ive noticed that turns a lot of dudes on lolol. Ummm thanks I guess hahaha. Im just happy that Im not sitting behind a desk working for someone in a job thats not part of my career. Even when I was working for other people I was teaching and improving my craft! I dont understand and dont take this the wrong people can just sit around and do nothing or work in a dead end job. Get ur butts up and do something. I said this before but how do you feel good about yourself when you know you should be doing something. Sooner or later its going to bite u n the butt. I know people may get mad at me for saying that but this is for those who sit around and do nothing on purpose not those who actually try!
Moving on...
Braylon...the light of my soul! Everyday, I love him more and more to the point I cant explain. I wonder everyday how much more can you love someone and each day it grows. Hes everything to me. Thats my baby! Hes part of me, my genes, my eyes, my lips, my! He's climbing on top of everything of course adn its sooo funny. He turns around and laughs! His personality grows everyday and his fav game is still chase me...and its so much fun! Hes learning how to hide then jump out and say ayeee lolol. Hes learned how to tap me on my shoulder then look away like he didnt do it. He loves giving me hugs and kisses, and I have to say that when he saw me cry last week he came up to me and hugged me. That moment took every tear away and was to this day the 2nd best day of my life. The 1st being his birth. I know I talk about him alot but you have to understand that Braylon is truly an angel! Ive been through so much the past year and a half that without him being the way he is, I wouldnt be this strong. Everything I do is for him. I take pictures allll the time and I spend almost every moment with him...yes even when Im at the studio (if Im not teaching). I cant say it enough but I love him more than I love myself and once I find my someone special theyre gonna love him too!

All in all November has started out great! October ended great also. Im going to Hawaii the day after Thanksgiving for a week and a day with fam n a few friends so thats going to be awesome! Brays 1st big trip! I cant complain about anything. Im happy! I wake up smiling, I go to sleep smiling and during the day...Im just happy! Ive been more giving this week also. I offered 2 dance scholarships to girls that I saw potential in but couldnt afford the fees, and I also (this is crazy) gave a homeless 6 year old 3 toys from babies r us yesterday and said things are going to get better today...then Barack Obama became our president! I also gave her mom some money to "hopefully" get a room for a few days and some food. Yea, I kinda splurged on them but I was just in that mood. I felt it was my duty and Im happy I did it. Well my battery is about to go out on my computer and I left the charger at the studio so till later...Im outtie! Holler! God Bless, Dont worry be happy and kisses! xoxoxo


That sounds so good! Its amazing that there are still some African Americans that dont realize what an impact this is on our lives. This man isnt just our president, hes an icon! Hes a father who takes care of his kids and is there for them no matter what! Hes a father who knows the true meaning of family! Im so proud to have witnesses this moment in my lifetime and was able to tell my son that Barack Obama is his New President. Although he has no idea of whats going on and what an impact this will have on his life, Im proud that for at least 4 years (God Willing) he will have another Black Man to look up to. We as a people have been through so much that no one of any other race will ever understand! We as a people have that bond. Theres conversations we can have with each other that we cant have with another race! Its sad that some of us dont realize that. Im so blessed to have grown up with strong male and female figures in my family but Ive also been blessed with many beyond that such as Oprah! On a more personal note, many of you have been keeping up with my blog and sending messages and a few comments, I just want you all to know I appreciate the constant support and encouragement.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008


I got up this morning with a little pep in my step! I got dressed, brushed my teeth, ate breakfast and waited for Braylon to wake up. Around 9 he started laughing at himself in his crib (theres a mirror in there) and I walked in to get him. I noticed he was about a half hour early so I figured he noticed that there was something a little different about today also. I changed him, fed him, put he and the dog JJ in the car and we were off. I dropped Bray and JJ off at my parents house anticipating a long wait at the polls so I didnt want him to get aggravated. When I got the the poll there was absolutely NO line! I showed my ID, got my ballots, walked into the booth and made my mark on this possible History Making day! Today, November 4, 2008 marks a moment in our life, and generation that can really change the world. I felt important. I felt like I mattered. I felt like my vote TODAY would be a part of history. Thats why I waited. I wanted my vote counted on the actual Election Day. Not early, not late...NOW, TODAY! Im walking with my head held high for my ancestors who fought for this right and for the power we have as a United States of America Citizen! I hope tonight when we're all watching the news as the results come in we feel a since of pride because WE made the change, and it was our decision. Hopefully it turns in our favor!

Monday, November 3, 2008


Okay DO I know I pick on your lame a$$ school and YES we lost...But whatever, we STILL kicked yalls ass! hahaha! Just kidding...but really we did! lolol.He had sooo much fun at the game on Saturday even tho we lost. He looooved the band and he was dancing up a storm! He played sooo hard on Saturday he knocked out once my parents took him back to the motor home. ME? I went to the vendors in search for Conch Salad...that sold out by the time I got to the front. I did however get my fried Blue Crabs and shrimp! We do tailgate with the seriousness meaning the motorhome, music, etc but I still had to take advantage of the vendors! Thanks to Lenora for standing with me for an hour lolol. We also got Braylon a light up pacifier and a sword! Yes, Im a sucker for those things. I used to want them when I was little and got excited everytime my parents gave in so I knew Bray would love them! As you can see, he did! Its nothing like an HBCU Homecoming. I cant wait till Classic Weekend! WOOP WOOP! Its about to be sooooo fa-serious! <---Dont steal my word! Till later...Im outtie! Hollerrrrr!

Brays 1st Halloween!!!!!

Braylon was Tigger for Halloween and he was a biiiiig hit! He loved being in his lil outfit and he was sooooo cuuuuuute! OMG I have to admit I have the best baby in the world! Hes soooo animated and such a flirt. I have sooo many stories its ridiculous. Hes starting to say his own name and hes found a new Favorite Game. Its called drop/push the toy off the table and laugh when Mommy picks it up and brings it back. He did this a few months ago but I think it was mainly for development purposes. Now he does it to get a big laugh from himself and me. Hes also started running and speaking his own language. Theres so many words I dont understand I just call it Brayguage! I cant tell you how much fun he is. I know everyone says the same thing about their child but I hear it from everyone that hes the happiest baby theyve ever met and that Im a good mom. Say Im bragging I dont care but thats what they say lolol. He was the Best Tigger Everrrrr! My little Moo Moo!

Monkey Joes Trial Run/ Cousins Birthday Party...

When we got back on Sunday we had to almost immediately go to a birthday party for my little cousins at Monkey Joes. I was happy it was there since thats where Brays party is for his 1st Birthday in a couple weeks. He enjoyed himself soooo much it was ridiculous. He was screaming and laughing and jumping in all the little 3 and under thingies. I was so happy because I wasnt sure how hed take it. He also loved meeting Monkey Joe and went crazy when he was being held by him. After the longest and most tiring weekend we got in my SUV and went home. Bray was out in 3 minutes. I know because I reached back to give him a bottle and he didnt move lolol. All I heard was a big snore 10 seconds later. He slept for 4 hours after the party...woke up for 2 hours to eat, and went down for the count at 9:30PM...thank goodness for Daylight Savings Time. Hes been goin to sleep between 9 and 10pm and waking up between 9-10AM also. Perfect! Well thats about it! Till next time...Im outtie! Ill holler! lolol


Waddup Fam, Friends, and Fans! I dont know why I keep forgetting to talk about the dance studio but its going well. I do have a fraud case pending because someone stole 3000<--- yes you read that right...from my business account. Other than that Im happy. I had a pretty bad month in October but I promised myself to erase the drama which means I erased people that caused it. I guess thats not going over to well but the fact is that you dont have to be in my life to be in someone elses. Thats with friends of friends or even with family. It is what it is ya know lolol. I do think a few people need to read up on people who need certain procedures because its so obvious when theyre lying hahahaha. That was mean but oh so true. Lol I find it hilarious. We were laughing about it the other day like how dumb can you beeeeee! Anyways, back to the studio! Its going really well! Everyone who comes by LOVES the look of it and our style. I didnt realize how many lives I touched in my prime and its still growing! I have my own company thats doing well...I have a career! My Dream Job! I hated sitting behind a desk working for other people and not making what I felt I should! I feel bad for those working dead end jobs just to get a paycheck! I do get a lot of questions asking why Im working when I have money but the fact is I AM NOT A KEPT WOMAN! I cant sit around living off someone elses paycheck! I dont need a Captain Save A... I need my career. I dont see how people do it. Just sit around everyday and do nothing. Whats the point in going shopping if you have no where to go but TO THE MALL, or TO A SINGLE EVENT! Thats boring and shouldnt it be a turnoff?! Would yall seriously want to talk to me if I did nothing all day but chill or go shopping??? Yall would think the lies on those comment boards were right! I would look completely like a Golddigger then lolol. OMG my parents would kill me anyways hahaha. I love yall for keepin it real though. Thanks for your support and telling me when I wrong or when Im right! I appreciate it soooo much! Great advice from Great people! xoxoxo!