Thursday, November 4, 2010
Day 18: The Person I wish I could be
I just gonna start writing without looking back and deleting because I know if I proofread im going to take some things out...With that said...
Sometimes I wish I could be Cold
Sometimes I wish I could be Evil
Sometimes I wish I could be Heartless
Sometimes I wish I could be so Selfish that nothing and no one else mattered but ME.
I wish I could go on with life not caring what other people think regardless if its good or bad. Its easy to say you dont care but a small percentage of you does. Like I said before you cant get through LIFE without other people so I'd be foolish to say I dont care at all.
I wish I could throw someone under the bus so bad like theyve done me but my heart pulls me back. So much of me wants to expose that person for who they are. I wish I could tell all the secrets and prove all the lies but then I have to ask myself, what good what that do to me and my life? Why would that make me happy? It wouldnt but I wish it would because then I could. I just keep telling myself its NOT my duty to show the world who they are but I wish It was.
I wish I could be that person that was so evil that I could attempt to ruin someone with lies just like they tried to do me. I wish I could make false allegations, & spread rumors just to ruin a persons career by overshadowing their talents. I wish I could throw the rock & hide my hand. Better yet I wish I could do all these things then cover them up by doing good deeds or smiling in peoples faces. I wish I could be so evil that I could laugh at another persons misery. I wish I could step on someones back to get to the top. I wish I could burn bridges and not give a DAMN about how many. I wish I could hurt people and their families and friends JUST because I could & to prove a point. I wish I could humiliate the people who once bent over backwards for me just because they made me mad. I wish I could sleep at night after making the world think another person crazy or psychotic because of what I said...or didn't say. I wish I could knowingly put someone in harms way and tell them "Its not my problem". I wish I could have my friends send death threats, harass, and threaten people who I dont like just to make their life hell. I wish I could be that wrong, that evil, that cold, that selfish and that heartless. BUT I CANT....
I wasnt made that way. I wasnt raised that way. I will NEVER be that way. But I am a fighter and I will fight until I cant fight anymore. You may be winning some battles but you WONT WIN THE WAR! TRUST! I know some wish I would give up...maybe thats who YOU wish I was...but thats DEFINITELY NOT WHO I AM!. LIKE I SAID BEFORE....WHEN I SEE SOMEONE REACHING FOR THEIR DREAMS I WISH ON THEIR STARS...SO GUESS HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE WISHING ON MINE!
I bet you think this song is about you...that means youre guilty!