As I sit here, Im reminiscing about the last few days of my pregnancy a year ago. Its 4 days before his birthday and I remember what I was doing to the T. I was in pain! I was also crying. I was extremely emotional and stressed. A little over a month before, Id been to the Dr and I remember falling in front of the Dr office because I was running from a bumblebee. My brother cursed me OUT and said I was being ridiculous because it was "just a bee"...whatever...I dont like bugs. Anyways, when my dr felt my belly I was told that his heart wasnt beating fast enough anymore and I needed to go to triage. From that day forward I lived in fear. I started praying more than I had in the past. I was asking for forgiveness for everything I might have done wrong and didnt realize it. I cried because I realized Id taken my whole pregnancy as a bad thing instead of a blessing. I was so angry that I stopped realizing how great it was to feel my baby move inside my belly. I stopped letting other people feel it too. I was ashamed. I was hurt. I was heartbroken. I stopped caring. Then I had another scare. I started having contractions. I went back to the dr and I was sent to triage again. They put me on full bedrest. That Sunday I got saved and Ive never cried so much in my life. I fell limp but when it was over, I felt free.
4 days and counting down.....
The weekend my baby was born was Classic Weekend. I remember sitting down that Thursday morning and having a sudden pain in my back. I called my parents and my brother and told them I needed company. My brother came and checked on me and I thought I was fine. The rest of the day I sat on the big rubber ball and prayed that everything was fine. I ate 4 pickled hot sausages and some cake batter (its true what they say...your cravings are soooo random). I guess I wont be making it to the Classic Festivities this year I told myself...Ill just chill on the sofa or in the bed...Im supposed to be on bedrest anyways right??? .That was 4 days before....
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