Day 4: My Brother (Ryan aka Brudder)

Mooooooom!!!!! Daaaaaaad!!!!!! Im tellin!!!! Stooooop!!!!!! Get OUT!!!!! Leave me alone!!!!! That was the extent of our vocabulary when it came to our relationship in our younger years. As we got older it became more of a protector of me. Whether you were trapping me underneath the covers while you farted or beating up my dolls with your transformers I knew you loved me. Regardless if I annoyed you when I was cracking jokes and laughin on the phone when your girlfriend called or slapping you with my training bra you still never let anyone pick on me or call me out my name.



Now, much older, our relationship has changed. It started in college when I went to my 1st party and you yelled at me for cleaning up alcohol when the cops came "What the hell are you doing Royce? You're not 21! Go sit down some where!". Right then is when I realized that you were much more than just a title of my brother. You were now my friend. You were my defender, and my guide. You were now someone I could go to for advice. You were now someone I could cry to and not be judged. Whether you were telling your friends "Thats my sister, you cant talk to her!" or "Royce, those are NOT SHORTS go put some clothes on" I felt like more than just Ryan's little sister lol. I didnt realize it then but you have always looked out for me and kept me from making a lot of mistakes. You always seem to know how to say things the right way to get thru to me whether its mean or nice. We have definitely had some ups and downs to the point ive wondered sometimes "What the heck is wrong with you and do you need help?!" to "Did you really just say that to me?!. But then it hits me.....you love me. Ive seen you go thru so much & still you are there for ME. Im your sister, and im your friend. Very strongminded you are, very blunt you are, very opinionated you are and I love you for it. Yes, youve made me cry on many occassions but more than that youve made me smile. Youve made me laugh. We have memories than a lifetime can hold. You knew about Braylon before I told you. I guess thats the bond we have. You knew something was different and waited until I told you. You never judged me, you were there for me. You are a wonderful Uncle and Braylon loves everything about you. He looks up to you and asks about you everyday! You're his homeboy! Youre Uncle Wyan! lol




Thru all the drama Im going thru now you are my protector. I see you stick up for me when everyone else was scared to. I see you go off because you know the things they say about me arent true. For everything you do, and for everything you say I appreciate you. I may not say it enough but you have gotten me thru so much these past few years especially this last one that if you hadnt been there for me I dont know where I'd be. Thank you so much for being such a great brother, for supporting me in every decision I've made, for loving me thru my mistakes, for helping me up when I fall, and keeping me up when I could barely stand. I love you Brudder and you mean the world to me!

Sidder :o)

*_rists* <-inside joke

Day 3: My Parents (JuaNita and Robert)

Before I wrote 1 word I was already in tears. Just the thought of how lucky I was growing up and how lucky I am NOW to have such a strong support system. To know I make them smile, laugh and proud. To know that Im special enough to be born to 2 such beautiful, strong, successful, supportive and loving people. I often wonder to myself, what did I do so great in my past life to deserve them... why me? As I sit here with the tears falling down my face I write this letter to my Parents. My MOTHER and MY FATHER!




Mommy and Daddy,

For as long as I can remember I was either Boots or Sugarpie, babe or stankdooky (yea I said it). From licking the cake batter off the beaters and rolling dough to help mom make biscuits in the morning to catching dragonflies and fishing with dad at night. From the day I started dancing to the day I stopped running Track. You knew who I was destined to be and you both made sure I got there. W/o you I may have been on the wrong side of the track. Ive grown up to see many I grew up with and used to be close to on drugs, in jail and even Resting In Peace. Ive grown to never take anything for granted and that working for what I have accomplished in my life and career is thru hard work. Youve taught me the most important thing I need in LIFE is not the material things, not money, not status but LOVE.

Although I grew up Middle Class in a low to middle income neighborhood called Tangelo Park, I love the fact that the quote "It takes a village to raise a child" was one statement that held true on our street. From the block parties to the Tailgating trips during FAMU Homecoming. The memories I have of playing 2/4 Square, Kickball, Freeze Tag, etc. then coming home when the street lights came on to a home made meal is something I will never forget. I remember for most my years growing up, how open you were to my friends coming by and becoming the father and mother figures some didnt have. I never noticed it then but I do notice it now. You had a strong impact on not just me, but everyone you have come in contact with.

Whether it was the small things like dropping me off and picking me up from school so I wouldnt have to catch the bus, or supporting every competition in every sport Ive ever participated in, I always had that support system a lot of kids didnt have and still dont. I am who I am because of who you made me to be. It means so much to know Ive made you proud but It also hurts to know that Ive disappointed you in some of my decisions whether you say it or not. I never want to make you feel as if you did something wrong. I never want you to feel as if somewhere you fell short. Ive cried many nights knowing that if I had never done that infamous pool party a lot of judgment passed on how I was raised wouldnt even be a factor. I apologize for ever putting myself in that position. I apologize for any backlash you may have received because your daughter, me, may have caused. Although you have always stood by me, thru everything, I refuse to let you feel in any way that my decision to do that had ANYTHING to do with how you raised me.

I am still Daddy's Girl, I am still Mommy's Minime. I am still that girl that looks up to her daddy and misses being carried away to bed and tucked it. I am still that little girl that is amazed by her mother and how many lives she touches everyday. I am not perfect but in my mind I was raised by the best 2 people God couldve EVER given me. You are my rock, my foundation, and the reason I am who I am. I love you so much and I could go on and on but Ill wait. You are celebrating 40 years of marriage this year and I can only hope to experience the same thing. I look at you play, I look at you laugh with each other, I see you argue, I see you agree, but mostly I see you love. Ive never lacked love. I heard it everyday. So even tho this little girl went from ponytails to....ponytails Im still the one who looked up to you both as my heroes. I am a mother now and I can only hope that Ill be as great of a parent as you both were to me. Braylon loves you both more than you know. Mai and Pop Pop. You may not realize it but I watch you with him and I see myself and I cant help but smile because hes as lucky as I am to have you in his life. I love you more than words can say!


Sugarpie/Boots

Day 2: My Crush

Merlin,

From the day I saw you, I knew it would never be more than a crush but I somehow enjoyed pretending you were mine since Middle School. The way you smiled, the way you spoke, to the way you dressed. It was something about your demeanor. Something about the aura you gave off. Something about you. I found myself believing that I wasnt just another girl, but that somehow if you ever met ME, Id be the one. Then I realized every girl felt that way. "If he just met me 1 time", "If he just saw me and we had eye contact", "If he knew I existed, He'd see how cool I was.". Hahaha. WOW at how I thought I was the perfect 1 and the only 1 who felt that way.

Then it happened. After I grew up and thought crushes were meant for those "Teenagers". I was too OLD to crush now! My mind was on my books, my career, and success. Little did I know, that Middle School CRUSH was still buried deep down in my soul. BUT...THEN...I met you. FAMU 2001. So random but it happened. Did I think it was fate? No. I had a man lol.
A drop dead gorgeous man at that(talk about him in a later blog...back to the regularly scheduled program) Ahem...
I didnt force myself in your eye sight, I sat there and ate my wings. When I realized you were enjoying the attention of the "ladies" I came to the conclusion that you were a playboy & I rolled my eyes. I wasn't gonna be THAT GIRL. Hell, I just wanted to say hello...I think... I then got up with my girl Kia and walked out. Someone yelled "Aye!", I looked back yelled "B", & kept it movin. About 10 minutes later you walked out on the set & sat next to me right in front of the TV Room. You asked my name, & I gave it. You asked if I had a "dude" & I said yes. You said you respected that, got up, shook my hand and started walkin away. My heart dropped...Then you turned around & smiled at me. Why I felt the need to throw up I dont know but I managed to smile back. THAT was it. But I felt something. I waited by the phone, then realized I never gave you my number. You did however find my AOL Instant Messenger. "Aye, dis you? From Fam? Its Merlin.". Luckily it was me or some random chick now had your info lol...Ill never forget the day we started Instant Messenging. It was like I didnt know how to write anymore. I took forever just to figure out a way to say Hello. When I did write "Whats up" you had already signed off. Then you came back on and we had an hour conversation. Never once did either of us bring up our relationships, dating or even a crush for that matter. It was just comfortable and deep down I couldnt help but feel like I did years before "If he only met me, he'd see how cool I was.". I knew I was right. But the chance never came for me to express my true feelings because months later you were called for too early. You were Definitely Gone TOO SOON.

R.I.P. (My Crush)
Merlin Santana

1976-2002

Day 1: My Best Friend

Lauren Lauren Lauren,

Girl from the day we first met till now its been a journey. You never ceased to amaze me with how great of a friend you are. From holding my head on your shoulders and wiping my tears, to literally fist fighting the night before your wedding. You are one of the most important people in my life and without you I don't know where I would be. Your constant support and refusal to let me fail or fall has been more than a blessing. I will never take you for granted and I will never let this friendship go.
Ive watched you become so successful in your career despite your trials and tribulations & believe me when I say your Grandfather is looking down on you and smiling. He is so proud of you and hes right there next to you thru everything.

Enough of the mushy stuff...
We have memories for days that we have to take to the grave. From the drunk nights to the ghetto pool slide! I will never forget that night you waited for me when I was walking around your neighborhood in the RAIN like I was in Love Jones with Mr You Know Who trying to figure out our relationship. Who knew we'd go thru some crazies with dogs and others who turned gay to finally finding our Prince Charmings! lol WOW!

I still remember telling you when I was pregnant. Your reactions I swear are so real and so honest but yet in some ways so wrong hahahahahaha. I love you for that. You know everything about me. I know everything about you. Standing next to you at your wedding was such and honor because you deserve so much to be happy. Braylon, Mr Ring bearer, enjoyed himself too Auntie Lawen lol. You already know when I walk down the aisle you're gonna be right there beside me dancing and all.

I will never forget the nights we woke up and could describe the whole night by saying "Dog..." or "What the F?". The simple fact we can stay on the phone and not say 1 word for 5 minutes because a show is on but not want to hang up is kinda ridiculous tho hahaha. I love you girl. You mean standing on rocks in heels and dresses to me. You mean riding Roller Coasters in Lightening Storms to me. You mean taking shots till they taste like water to me. You mean fist fighting and hair pulling in the driveway to me. You mean changing clothes in the car when a huge Semi stops next to us to me! You mean cursing out chicks in the club in our younger years to me. You mean "What happened last night, & why am I wearing this?" to me. You mean "Hey you up, I need to talk (at 5AM) to me. You mean those memories I cant write on here to me lol. Thru allllll these years, OMG we're old, we have so many memories. Fun times, emotional times, good days and bad You are my true ride or die. You tell me when I'm right and you tell me when I'm wrong. Regardless if its a trip to the mall or staging a getaway and cursing each other out while we run....you are my BEST FRIEND and I love you.


Royce! '10/18/10

30 Letters 30 Days

For the next 30 days I will be blogging 30 different letters. Ive seen quite a few people take on this challenge and I too will be participating. My friend Lori Calloway has also decided to take on this challenge and we are doing it together. Check out her blog at: http://elevatorgoup.blogspot.com/ Thanks for the support and enjoy the next 30 days. Puttin it all out on the table! These are the letter challenges:

The 30 Day Letter Challenge
WRITE A LETTER TO THESE PEOPLE :

Day 1 — Your Best Friend

Day 2 — Your Crush

Day 3 — Your parents

Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)

Day 5 — Your dreams

Day 6 — A stranger

Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet

Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to

Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you

Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from

Day 15 — The person you miss the most

Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country

Day 17 — Someone from your childhood

Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be

Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad

Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest

Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression

Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to

Day 23 — The last person you kissed

Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory

Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times

Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to

Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day

Day 28 — Someone that changed your life

Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to

Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

BASKETBALL WIVES ON VH1 APRIL 11, 10PM

MAKE SURE YOU CHECK OUT THE SHOW! LETS GOOOO!!!!! HERES THE TRAILER LINK:


http://www.vh1.com/video/misc/500482/basketball-wives-supertrailer.jhtml#id=1635444


*SIGNED*
Twitter-Crazed Cheerleader
Twitter.com/RoyceLR
:o)
Oh yea, Imma take that and run with it! lol

Handle With Care.....

Hello Everyone,

I'm writing this blog to address my dancing at the Superbowl Pool Party. I'm not going to pass blame on anyone but myself. What you saw on that video is not an accurate portrayal or description of Royce. Although a lot of you don't think it was THAT BAD or say that I was JUST HAVING FUN, I DO feel I took it too far. After having a few drinks and enjoying a great time I was encouraged to participate in the contest. I look at that video and to be honest I wish someone would've YOKED me off the stage lol. I wasnt smoking or doing drugs so I've learned to accept it for what it was. It's not something I'm proud of but Im also not going to pity myself and say Im embarrassed or ashamed because I'm not. I DID IT! I OWN IT! IT WAS ME! I'm a company owner, a friend and most importantly a MOM, a daughter and a sister. I don't like the way I looked on the video at all and im not going to CONTINUE to act like Im ok with it. So much has been written about me in the past that has been untrue and I feel like this incident has given people something tangible to hold against me. I am human therefore I'm not perfect and I do make mistakes. This was a mistake that I wont repeat. Throw the rock, hide your hand...I still got hit! I'm still a project God is working on. I have a LONG way to go. I'm still strong and I'm still standing!