Your LIFE can be changed...

Ive been thinking alot lately about my life and how much its been changed at the hands of others. Im going to pour it out right now cuz its some things that need to be said.

My whole life my parents reared me to be a free-standing spirit. Independent, intelligent, strong, opinionated and successful. When I went to College I was a Virgin to everything. Id never been to a black school nor had I ever had a Boyfriend. I wasnt allowed to date till I graduated because in my parents minds "Having a boyfriend is not a requirement to graduate!". I was never involved in all the parties or all the drama because I was never around to be "in it". I was in dance, competitive cheerleading, gymnastics, piano, and school. I had friends and I was popular for being Royce...the good girl. For the past 10 years Ive been asking myself what happened because from my knowledge I was the same Royce. Yea I had a boyfriend, matter of fact ive had 5 since 1998. All 5 played a strong part in my life and add 1 minor relationship and they are the only people ive ever "been with". Yea I just put myself out there. I lost my virginity at 20. Thats a whole different story and I didnt add that situation in my numbers. I never knew with sex came drama. Its almost like I was opened up to a whole different realm of life. I was now subject to ridicule and hate. I got the man, this girl wanted, or that girls ex. Orrrrr, Im now a whore because I turned this guy down, or didnt give him my number. Isnt that an oxymoron??? My 1st Boyfriend was killed in a car accident, my 2nd was the 1 that turned into one of my best friends, my 3rd I got into 2 fights over because he was 1 of the HEART Throbs in school that everyone swore I was gonna marry. The 4th one turned psycho and thought i was cheating on him with a gay guy who was in the play "Dreamgirls" we were rehearsing for. I was now having to fight off rumors of being with this dude or that dude and at 1 point some1 said they heard I was a lesbian. WOW! Funny huh... but that was College. That was the 1st time Id ever been labeled negatively and I was soooo ready to graduate I ran across the stage when they called my name 1st...yea really...its on tape. Those rumors never really went anywhere long since ppl KNEW ME but I guess it was fun for chicks to spread mess because it made them feel better...oh well. Then I went back to my 3rd...and that would last a few more years on and off till I met my 5th...Number 5 has changed my life the most...in good and bad ways. I cant speak too much on this 1 but I loved him. Too much some might say. Number 5 is the reason I say your life can be changed...I thought i left the childishness in College...little did I know it was just getting started...Now I was about to take on a different realm of females and dudes...called Haters!....Life...

Again, how did I go from being a diamond in the rough to someone ppl have made up all these rumors about. Apparently, Im supposed to brush it off and not read things posted about me but Im human. I take my reputation seriously and it hurts so bad to see all these false accusations made about me. It makes me so sad, angry, and hurt that sometimes I just scream or go off. I know most things that are posted are from people who just get mad to see their crush with someone. So then, they get online and come up with the most random stories or try to make up something that could SEEM to be true to make the 2 involved think and question each other. Misery loves company and I fall for it everytime. Im sure alot of the ppl who started these lies are reading this and are smiling right now but like Ive said before and the quote I try to live by "Never plot against some1 tht God has his hands on! I never hav 2fight my own battles.He does it 4me!". Karma is REAL & I cant fix a house I didnt build! If you are that miserable and that hateful that you have to ruin my reputation and make up all these things about me, its not saying much about u. Not that you should care but I have a 2yr old to raise as a single mother because YOU were unhappy with someones choice. You took it in your own hands to spread lies thru the internet that it the new root of all evil. Now theres alot of hatred in my heart for someone i once loved due to many instances that were caused by drama. But its over so you can stop. The fork in the road? Different paths were chosen and nothing ever said those roads ever meet again because last I check they went totally different ways. I have moved on and I am dating someone new that knows the REAL ROYCE and knows that i am NOTHING of what your internet devils have tried to make me out to be. So yea, you hurt me, you made me cry, you made me feel like I wasnt worth much, you made me lose someone i really did love and wouldve gone thru hell and stood on the sun for but im human...Im also Gods Child tho... So I will say this...You may win by hindsight...you may win by material things, but eventually your heart will catch up to you and you will feel horrible about ruining something God had his hands on but the Devil let you and anyone else who made up, spread, reposted, listened to and didnt stand up for or defend tear apart. Its not about being fair, thats childish. Its not about doing whats right or wrong. Its about you. I wake up everyday a little less hurt because I have someone who truly cares about me and wont leave me because of something someone says to him or something he reads. I wake up everyday a little less hurt because I know God has his hands on me and although i dont go to Church everyday he knows I kneel everynight and when things get to hard I turn to him and not against him. I used to think "why me?" Now I know it WAS ME because Im strong enuf to handle it and I deserve the best and My son deserves the best. Despite the lies you continue to spread and the evil you still possess Im still standing.

ITS that time again!

Time to reflect on the past year! Its been a good one. Some ups and downs but mostly ups! Brays gone thru several stages and I have to admit I NEVER thought you could love someone so much it hurts! He is my life and I scream that to the world every chance I get! I take pictures, videos, everything of him almost everyday and he looooooves to be on the camera. Sometimes i hook it up to the TV just so he can see himself live and hes goes crazy. Its hilaaaarious! To think this time last year he had only been walking a lil over a month and now hes running, jumping, climbing, talking, singing lol, yelling, and givin me kisses and hugs every chance he gets! I love him so much it scares me. I put him before myself and my career, i put him before ME period! Hes the #1 in my life. To hear him say Mommy, or ask me to kiss his booboos is the best! I enjoy motherhood so much and I feel as if Ive overcome the stereotype of single mothers. Im not bitter, Im HAPPY! Im not ashamed, Im PROUD! Just like every1 else with kids, married or not, I like to show off my son too! Like every1 else I think my child is SPECIAL...in a good way lol! I make sure I take pics of him regularly because God forbid something happen, EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE AND HE WILL BE FOUND QUICKER than those whom youve never seen! Watching CNN and Nancy Grace, and all the specials the show on Primetime about kids safety ive learned its a good thing to have pictures circulating in mass because when people NOTICE a child they get saved. Remember that parents. Test your kids as soon as possible with a friend your child has never met and see if they go to them. Teach them to bite, and fight in self defense. Teach them to scream even if some1 says not to in certain situations. Dont wait until something happens to post pics/vids of your child, by then its normally too late! To some people they dont understand this, to others its all too familiar. I remember when Braylon had a nanny and she took him to the Park around the corner from my house and without knowing my lil cousins and their Nanny was there. My lil cousin went up to her nanny and said "Isnt that Braylon (shes 4), and her Nanny immediately called my Aunt(the grandmother) and told her Braylon was at the park with a lady she'd never seen. My Aunt called me and told me and of course I laughed but then I said describe her to make sure. From that day on I realized if your child is recognizable it throws up red flags when ppl see them with some1 other than you and they start asking questions. One time Brays nanny had taken him to a mall in Winter Park and she told me 2 guys kept looking at her strange, now granted a phone call wasnt made nor did they approach her but they did send me a camera phone picture to my facebook of her and Braylon! These are my testimonies and maybe they wont work for everyone but for me, its a form of safety in a world full of chaos! Braylon is almost 2...in less than a month we will be celebrating the only way we know how...BIG! I cant wait and Im going to spoil him like crazy! Custom designed cake, a new car (yes a new car...power wheels ppl lolol), Mickey Mouse and friends, and more! Hes my baby, he deserves the BEST! HollER!!!!!

The Duck that Quacks DOESNT ALWAYS get shot!

Many times people are put into situations that they think they have no way out of. They think if they speak out or they ask for help it will soon backfire and turn on them. Theres a popular saying that I havent heard in a while until recently on an MTV program. That saying is "The Duck that quacks gets shot!". In so many ways Ive always felt this saying to be true. If you dont say anything things will get better. If you go with the flow it will change. It wont be this bad for too much longer. Dont put your business out there for the world to see. Better yet, DONT SNITCH! If thats the case how are you supposed to be saved? How are you supposed to look at yourself in the mirror everyday and be proud of what you see? How are you expecting CHANGE if no one knows the SITUATION? I believe in God too but I also dont believe in being STUPID! There are those of us who arent afraid to Quack! Dodging bullets is something our ancestors did and if it werent for them we wouldnt be where we are today! If they didnt Quack, we'd still be sitting n the back of the bus or going in thru the back door. If our generation didnt Quack Barack Obama wouldnt be our president! There are other situations in LIFE that deserve a Quack, deserve a voice, deserve to be told, deserve to inspire, and deserve to be seen. If everyone was afraid to Quack because of fear that has been placed on them by heirarchy Im pretty sure alot of dreams would have been missed and alot of lives losts. So with that said, I used to be that duck that sat back and watched everyone else Quack because apparently it was the right thing to do. But after realizing that you can only circle the same lake a certain number of times before you lose yourself and your dignity, its now my turn to QUACK and whether or not I get shot is in Gods hands not mine, and certainly not yours. So QUACK QUACK!

Internet Balls!

INTERNET BALLS also commonly known as Anonymous Balls!

This is the 1 I dont like. THis is the 1 that most ppl who talk ish on the internet suffer from.

Do you post on anonymous GOSSIP sites with names like Unceremonious, or asdfjkl but then have so much to say about another individual?

Do you talk about how different you are and if you ever met that person you would do this or that, but you DO see them on a regular basis?

Do you go back and forth with other Internet ball headcases because they make you feel better about your decisions to bad mouth a person who you wish you were?

I could go on and on. My point is this...Before you talk about how real you are maybe you should post your REAL BIRTH GIVEN NAME not a noun or verb or a name you found on the internet and claim its yours! Before you send me crazy a** messages and threats maybe you shouldnt send it from a name like carebear2423. Better yet, before you talk about how much of a whore I am but cant give 1 name so you make up lies that everyone with a brain knows isnt true; how bout you get your jealous a** up and do something productive with your life. You sit around on a computer hatin on anyone who has the life you wish you had so you attempt to make their life miserable. It doesnt work! I dont get mad about anonymous post, they just irritate me. See the difference is, I dont NEED Twitter, or Facebook or anything else. It was nothing for me to delete 800ppl off my Facebook nor was it hard to delete my Twitter. You sad individuals who do these anonymous postings LIVE for this stuff because you have nothing else going for you in life nor do you have any desire to change. Why would that bother me? Its irritating, sad but also funny because i know its envy! I told you all before to Keep Talkin Ish, Youre Makin Me Famous and I want to thank you for it because you definitely did your job! Loves ya!

Text Balls!

Am I the only one with this syndrome?

Do you say things in writing that in most cases have never come out my mouth.

Do you send text messages that sound so evil and so mean but the TV in the background is on Toddlers and Tiaras while youre drinking Koolaid...Red Flavor???

Have you "kept it real" on Twitter but your profile is on private so you leave it to others to RT your messages?

Have you told someone to "say it to your face"...but you said it on Facebook???

I call this syndrome Text Balls! Not to be confused with Internet Balls! Imma touch on that next! Text Balls is a syndrome in which you post or text something from YOUR PHONE, YOUR TWITTER PAGE, AND YOUR FACEBOOK OR ANY OTHER SITE THAT INCLUDES YOUR ACTUAL BIRTH GIVEN NAME! <---yall see what im gettin at? Text balls is NOT entirely excusable, however, but at least you have the BALLS to say/write it yourself AS YOURSELF! Whether its heat of the moment, whether you mean it or not, whether its something that shouldve been said or not at least youre not afraid to post it as YOURSELF! In this case, its more respected because youre not hiding behind an anonymous name....
In some cases text balls can cause harm, hurt, and anger but at least in most cases when the issue comes up if there is a feeling in which you would like to apologize for something you said or something you did, its possible. That to me is being as REAL as you can be online!

I have text balls lol. So if you ever get me to actually verbally GO OFF, THATS BAD! So ive come back to blogging. This is my purge and I stopped for a while because I was constantly being judged BUT thats not my concern anymore. Writing keeps me sane and keeps me from getting angry. So if I dont blog...someone may get my raft! Let me write or you might get cut!<-figure of speech before someone says Im threatening them like ive been threatened about some1s gun cabinet! Always my word against theirs apparently and id never be found! Hmmmmm.....and that wasnt a text...that was verbal! That was REAL! I believe it!

Soooo YES! Its True!!!

When I was on Twitter and before I cut 90% of my Facebook friends, alot of ppl were asking me about the Reality Show. Ive been sent links from a Radio Interview my friend Shaunie did and after it was on a Local Radio Station here in Orlando I guess I can stop giving the side-eye look or pretending like I dont know what anyones talking about lol. Yes, Im doing a reality show with a few other BEAUTIFUL,WONDERFUL, INTELLIGENT AND SUCCESSFUL WOMEN! Shooting should be starting soon and Im extremely excited for you all to see what Ive been up to as well as the other exciting women in the cast. Its going to be real and although its based on our lives as NBA Wives, Ex-Wives, Ex-Girlfriends/Fiances, and Mothers its also a look into how biased, stereotyped, categorized, and emotional the situations can be. We are all diving into our careers and making a name for ourselves rather than JUST having that Title! I dont want to give too much away but it will definitely be a show thats inspiring and not negative! It will be a show that has its drama of course but not ignorance....from the cast at least! You all know Im very vocal and emotional and once you cross me I can make your life hell! However, it takes ALOT to get me to go off but once I get there, I go all out lol. Thats who you will see! Im as real as it gets! I hold nothing back! You only get 1 life so live it to the fullest, especially since youre not promised tomorrow! Get ready! Its coming!

Im Baaaaack!!!!!

Hello All,
I am back to blogging so stay tuneddddd! Alot of updates to come!